During a recent professional development activity, the UP for Learning team listened to an episode of writer Nora McInerny’s podcast, Terrible, Thanks for Asking. Her guest was Soraya Chemaly, author of The Resilience Myth: New Thinking on Grit, Strength, and Growth After Trauma. After listening to the episode, and discussing it with my colleagues, I wanted to share my thoughts about “resilience.” Resilience is more than just a well-known word. It carries a weight to it regardless of where you come from. To be resilient, to adapt to change, takes strength and courage. It’s something you embody. I encourage you to consider when you’ve been resilient in the past and consider what drove you to that resilience. Then to reflect on times you weren’t resilient, times you couldn’t withstand the challenge or rupture in your life. 

At the start of the episode, Nora McInerny remarks, “I looked up the word ‘resilient’ just to see what … people were thinking. Oxford gave me this: ‘Able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions.’ ‘Able to recoil or spring back into shape after bending, stretching, or being compressed.’ And Merriam Webster gave me, “capable of withstanding shock without permanent deformation or rupture; tending to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.’ And none of those definitions felt anything like me. I was notwithstanding anything. [After the death of my husband] I was permanently deformed. I was not recovering from or adjusting easily to any of these changes or difficult conditions or misfortunes, as the dictionary liked to put it. We use the word ‘resilient’ a lot and always like it’s a good thing. Kids are resilient. Goldfish are resilient. These new tires? Resilient. You know, minority groups, resilient. Black people specifically, resilient. But it sounds to me at least like an abdication.”

When I think of resilience, I feel almost hurt by it. I wasn’t resilient because I wanted to be, I was resilient because I knew there was something better waiting for me and I had to see what it could be. I wasn’t willing to give up on my future even if no one was willing to help me get there. As a young disabled transgender man, I’ve heard “resilience” used in every way one could imagine. Sometimes, it is framed positively: “You are resilient, you persist through things some people are lucky enough to never experience.” Sometimes, it is framed more negatively: “You have to be resilient, you have to push yourself and get past this.” When adults in my life used the word this way, I never left feeling like I was able to conquer my challenges. I felt bad for needing so much time to “get past” it; I thought I was failing because I was hurting. Now I understand that resilience is much more than just pushing through or “spring[ing] back to shape”. Resilience means learning to live with a challenge  and work with it.  

I feel students hear this word most often. Adults encourage them to take on the world, but what’s often forgotten about resilience is the requirement of a challenge being present. Telling LGBTQ+, disabled, BIPOC, mentally ill, people to be resilient is like telling a fish to swim. They eat, breathe and sleep resilience; if they didn’t, they wouldn’t be in our communities, schools, etc. Due to my own biases about this word, I felt it was important to provide another perspective. Pat LaClair, a Program Director at UP, offered these thoughts: “When I think of resilience, I think of plants, which act collectively (rather than individually) to overcome challenges. The most resilient plants are not the ones that grow in isolation, like a tree in a field or a flower surrounded by mulch. Rather, they are the ones that grow in tight communities, with mycelial connections between their roots, crowded together to provide strength against the wind. They are resilient because of their community, not in spite of it.” I love the idea that arises here around community support. The education system is a great example of resilience in a community-based form. Students often have groups/clubs at school to promote community and learning (GSA, after-school programs, National Honor Society, etc.). Young people are resilient by nature. However, in order to persist in the way they do, they must rely on their community. For example, in Vermont, LGBTQ+ youth have the resource of Outright Vermont, a non-profit organization working toward empowering LGBTQ+ youth to create the changes they want to see. They do this by having a space created for them to find community with each other  and support one another in their projects. 

Students are not the only ones in our education system that rely on  community. Adult educators often have groups/committees to join to share their perspectives and find support, whether it is teachers’ unions or other professional organizations. In 2017, teachers in Burlington, Vermont participated in a four day strike to improve their benefits and working conditions. Fran Brock, Burlington Education Association President remarked, “I know the teachers’ strike was stressful and all were anxious, but sometimes it takes a radical action to move us all forward. I’m hopeful that this crisis will bring about change that encourages respectful collaboration among teachers, administrators and parents. Be assured that we will be there for your children.” The two-year contract now includes a 2.5% salary increase the first year and 2.75% the following year. This strike is a direct example of the community teachers hold with/for each other, and how community can support and maintain resilience and change. 

UP For Learning supports communities and schools to maintain their resilience. One example of this was our support of Colchester Middle School as they created and executed a “Reading for Equity” project this spring. Team members on this project selected a number of inclusive children’s books to read to students at Malletts Bay Elementary school; they also created an activity to highlight related themes.  Five members of this team then  delivered a workshop to the Vermont Association for Middle School Education Conference, which gave them the opportunity to reach even more people in their community! UP also supports resilience through the different roles on our team (Program Directors, Program Associates, and Youth Program Specialists). We always make sure to have an adult and youth partner on all projects, we facilitate together in teams, and we listen to each other and hold space for open conversation. 

I encourage you to think about how you perceive the word “resilience” and how it is used in our culture. I hope this article has made you think of resilience in all of its forms— how it connects to our schools, communities and to you. 

byy PJ King, Youth Program Specialist

PJ King joined the UP For Learning team in 2019. He began working in his own school but rapidly fell in love with UP’s message of youth adult partnership and stuck with the work after graduating in 2022. Ever since he was young, he has believed in the power of education and has always wanted it to be a safe and inclusive space for everyone. He is excited to branch out and work with other school districts while diving into new projects and further exploring the UP For Learning world. In addition to his love for education, PJ is also a lover of animals, writing, and many art forms. His hope is to some day work as an animal trainer and photographer to help others find their perfect fluffy match. One of his favorite activities is taking photos of his own fluffy friend, a 13 year old cat named Dustin.